Before It's Too Late

"I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry. Sorry, for the things that I have done. "

Those words. I wanted to utter them from my mouth. But, it's just stuck in my mind like a gum. I don't have strength to say it... or maybe I just find it too corny?..or maybe I'm not used to say those things?

Should I ask for forgiveness? No, I'm afraid to. If I say sorry, would it make a change? If I say sorry, then I must really change. Saying sorry is useless, if I don't make an action.
SORRY: should I say it, or put it into action??
Both? I think I can't promise to...

.....

Seeing you lying in the bed, it makes me feel guilty. Your condition right now, it makes me reminisce my dark past: my disobedience, my rebellion, my sins that displeases you. If I could just travel through time and avoid those things.. If only.

Yes, I know, my sins are forgiven, but if only I knew that it could harm you, that it could give you such stress, I won't do such thing... If only.

.....

Oh Lord,
Is this the perfect judgement for a sinner like me? Seeing my loved one, suffering from a sin that he didn't even do? He's just a victim and I am a suspect. He's a great father to me and I'm a rebellious daughter to him. Please, I beg You, please stop this things. I have learned a lot, so please..stop. I must be the one suffering, not an innocent one like him.

.....

"I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry. Sorry, for the things that I have done. "

As i kneel in front of him, I've finally have the courage to say it to him. But still, my voice was weak and soft, yet, he heard it and he has forgiven me. A few days after, things were getting better and better. He was recovering from his sickness and our relationship has grown bigger and stronger. I feel relieved right now. I did not regret to be humble and lower down my pride for him, before it's too late.